Anna
Senior Member
the guilty one.
Posts: 412
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Post by Anna on Nov 5, 2008 18:56:09 GMT -5
ooc. For whoever wants to join (: Thought I'd put Ernest outside for other people to meet. He's just .. chilling and doing Ernesty things.
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When Ernest was younger, his parents would scold him for spending so much time alone. It's not like he didn't like the other kids - they were fun sometimes.
But Ernest liked his alone time. He could go on adventures that the other kids could not. Think thoughts that brought him further than the fort down on Sylvania Road. He didn't need dolls or bikes or play swords.
"What are you doing?" his parents would always ask him, after spotting him out the kitchen window, sitting criss-cross applesauce in the grass, twisting the soft green blades in his fingers, with his eyes closed.
"Just praying," he'd always say back.
It wasn't exactly a lie. Ernest would start out praying, like his parents had taught him. He'd bow his head, and thank God for his blessings, and ask him to forgive him for his various sins.
Then, though, his mind would wander. He would get lost in the feeling of the grass on between his fingers and toes, and he would think about other things.
Ernest wasn't sure if that was allowed during prayer.
Now, years later, he still valued his alone time. Everything was so busy on move-in day. He feared if he forced himself to stand by, watching all the new boys move in and interact with each other, he'd cry from worry. He could never insert himself into social situations, not like other people to.
So, he'd retreated outside and was now reclining pleasantly in the grass, a small, free smile on his face that came only from being alone and unwatched. These were his favorite moments, when his stomach unknotted from it's usual bundle of nerves, when his palms were dry, and when his heart beat calmly and rhythmically.
He opened his eyes slowly, gazing in awe at how the white clouds and blue sky were mirrored perfectly (albeit upsidedown) in the reflecting pool.
Oh, so that's why it's called a reflecting pool, he thought, and gave a frail giggle. To anyone else, it might've seemed an elementary thought, but Ernest had never made the connection before, and learning something new always made him happy.
He fell forward onto his hands and knees, and crawled over to the edge of the reflecting pool. Tentatively, like an exploring animal, he peered over the edge.
The water reflected his face back at him. Ernest gave a modest, satisfied smile at the wonders of natures, and dipped a finger in, sending his face rippling outwards.
Eddingborough wasn't so scary if he was alone.
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Post by pj on Nov 6, 2008 13:47:22 GMT -5
The sun was high in the sky but the sprinkling of clouds made it hard to see, though as Peter gazed up at it as he walked he found it some what relaxing with his hands stuffed in his pockets, in one his fingers caressed a metallic lighter he’d brought along with him thinking it’d be a nice to smoke some pot and dee stress. Though as soon as he made it outside he’d found said pot was inside his other jacket, he’d cursed himself under his breath but refused to go back up and get it because he knew he loose track of what it was he’d been doing, confused? Me too.
His parents found him smoking pot about the same time they found him in bed with his first boyfriend, “And what exactly is going on here!” His fathers voice boomed down at the cowering couple as they covered themselves up, as it turned out Peter’s father was more worried about the pot that the liking boys which to be fair he had good right.
But the lighter was a welcome weight in his pocket almost like a security blanket, under his breath he hummed a familiar tune as he wandered around the grounds, exploring every nuck and cranny he could find hoping to find the perfect place to just sit back and relax before getting dragged off to do work.
You know its for your own good right fell me lad? His mind mocked him, Peter has always been averted to anything remotely academic. Not to say he wasn’t smart, he soaked everything up good enough but he didn’t know why he had to prove it through tests and essays. Bull shit.
Few people wandered about the grounds, life was a pile of shit. A big stinking pile of shit, just think about he’d been dumped here without goodbye in a last ditch attempt to grow up and act like some form of a respectable person without the knowing glances he got from his parents friends, though he wasn’t ashamed of himself he felt like others where. “When are you going to find a nice girl to settle down with dear?” His mothers friend would ask him and everything she couldn’t hold back the fucking smirk, like she was better than he was. Kiss my gay ass bitch.
Peter shook his head.
As Peter’s puppy dog eyes gazed across the landscape as eyes settled on a queer little thing staring to the water, one eyebrow perked with curiosity and his legs walked himself right over the guy. A small smile graced his lips, “Lost something?” He said optimistically cocking his head to one side as he peered into the water himself, another Peter gazed up at him.
It all seemed so innocent the act of child and, somewhere inside of him Peter wished thats all life was without the misconceptions and lies that, you only see through the smoke and mirrors only when you grow up. It wasn’t fair really, was it?
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Anna
Senior Member
the guilty one.
Posts: 412
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Post by Anna on Nov 6, 2008 16:04:12 GMT -5
Ernest cried out in surprise as he simultaneously heard an unfamiliar voice, and saw an unfamiliar face appear beside his reflection. Instantly, his muscles seized, and he jumped back, nerves rushing back to him before he could think to control them.
In the blink of an idea, the pleasant feeling of freedom and simple pleausres left him, and he was overcome with the booming sound of his own erratic heartbeat. There was a buzzing in his ears.
He pushed himself back from his crawl and fell back into a seated position. He raised his eyes up to the new boy, and made an attempt at a friendly smile. The muscles in his face twitched and fizzled, and feeble smile quivered.
God, it was so hard.
He shook his head a little roughly. "No, I-I'm not. Not looking for anything," he said in a faint, rushed voice. "I'm just looking. At the - in the r-reflecting pool. It's really..." His voice died out -- his face was burning pink now, and his stutter was sneaking up on him.
He tried and failed to make eye contact with the boy, to fix him with a begging look that would let him now how hard he was trying to communicate. How he desperately wanted to. But he couldn't look the stranger in the eye. He settled on watching his mouth.
He fished around for the end of his sentence. "Pretty," he finished breathlessly. "It's really pretty."
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Post by pj on Nov 6, 2008 16:19:15 GMT -5
As soon as the words left his the guy seized up and for a second there Peter thought he’d have to call a paramedic, especially when he flopped backward. A startled look washed over his face for a second, lord was he actually that scary? He looked around nervous to see if anyone was looking, maybe he could just run away...no, no that would be just a bit mean but, maybe the guy would be thankful for that.
“Woah...urm sorry if I kinda startled you, a little...maybe a lot.” Peter let a warm smile crease the corners of his mouth as he looked down at the guy a slight amusement in his eyes, he wasn’t used to people reacting that way towards him and it was kinda unnerving.
“Do you want me to go?” He asked a hint of amusement in his voice, “Cus’ my spider senses are telling me I totally ruined your moment...with the pool?” Peter offered with a slight laugh, not out of any malice but just because he found the situation funny.
“At least you didn’t fall head first into the pool huh?” His voice held the dominating Irish accent that was tinted with warmth, “Then you’d really be fucked.” Peter spoke lightly not wanting to startled the guy again and even though he had offered to leave he couldn’t help but offer his name. “I’m Peter by the way...so next time maybe you wont have a seizure on me.” This he said before pushing his thumb behind him and nodding his head as if to say I’ll go now if you really want?
Even though he kinda wanted to stay and figure the guy out.
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Anna
Senior Member
the guilty one.
Posts: 412
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Post by Anna on Nov 6, 2008 16:31:10 GMT -5
Ernest shook his head fervently. "No! I'm sorry. It's not you."
He wasn't sure what it was actually. He figured that it was just how he was. His problem. His body's problem for reacting like that. When he was alone and relaxed, he reflected that it made him unique. Everyone else always seemed so at ease with people, but him... If someone addressed him, it's like some switched was flicked on inside him. Heart beat raced, palms moistened, skin prickled, eyes blinked, shoulders hunched. It was like a disease.
It was especially bad around other boys. Ernest didn't know why that was, either. Girls were just easier to be around. Nicer. Didn't turn him into a nervous wreck. Boys just did something to him.
It was probably because they were so intimidating.
He didn't want the boy to think that he didn't like him. Worries that Peter would be insulted by his outburst made more words tumble out of his mouth without order.
"R-Really. It's not you, I just -- I'm -- oh, gosh." He stopped, tried to regain his breath. He kept his eyes downcast, finding it was easier to talk without looking at him. "I'm sorry. I'm Ernest."
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Post by pj on Nov 6, 2008 16:47:37 GMT -5
Peter laughed light at Ernest’s first comment, “It’s ok fella, it was probably my fault for sneaking up on you like that.” He smiled pleasantly, maybe he wasn’t all that scary after all I mean sure he had his moments of...argness? But that only came when he was under a lot of stress and no sleep, he just tended to burst out at anyone around which, lets face isn’t the way to go around things where you just need a good punching bag.
Unlike little Ernest Peter felt at most ease around people, there was something bout getting to know someone that was just kinda rewarding. It was the silence and been alone that scared Peter the most, he didn’t like it, even the dark he couldn’t handle. At home he’d always leave the blinds open in his room at night so the street light would flood out the dark. It’s been this way ever since he was little and sadly, he never quiet grew out of it.
Just thinking about it made his palms sweat a little.
Peter gave a slight nod to Ernest and sat down on the cool grass, it felt almost moist under him as Ernest gave his name, “Ok well a-” He involuntary gulped his thoughts still on his fears, hey no ones perfect...right? “As long as I’m not intruding.” Peter gave a small nervous laugh and brushed his palms across his tort black jeans.
“Your a pretty nervous little thing aint ya?” Peter asked with a small grin getting straight to the point, “I really not that scary am I? Cus’ people tell me I’m more cute than anything.” He laughed not knowing if it would Ernest a little more uncomfortable...ok so that was a little mean of him.
Bad Peter.
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Anna
Senior Member
the guilty one.
Posts: 412
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Post by Anna on Nov 6, 2008 16:58:16 GMT -5
Instinctively, Ernest shifted away from the boy as he sat down. His long arms pulled his knees to his chest, and he angled his body slightly in the opposite direction.
"You're not intruding," he said weakly. He squeezed his eyes shut out of habit. The thought that this act might look ridiculous to Peter didn't cross his mind. All he could think of was closing his eyes, blocking off the world for a split second while he tried to collect himself.
When he opened his eyes, he found himself just as nervous as before. Peter's comment left him speechless. He wasn't used to people saying things like that to him.
But at least he was being friendly. He seemed like a nice boy.
A smile broke onto Ernest's lips at that thought.
"I - yes. I guess you could call me th-that," he said with a nervous giggle grazing over each world, so that the syllables vibrated off his tongue.
He didn't know what to say to the latter half of his comment. He didn't want to be impolite by not saying anything. Peter might think Ernest thought him to be ugly -- which he didn't, of course not, but he wasn't allowed to judge such a thing.
He settled for saying, rather uncomfortably, "Yes. I'm sure g-girls think you - you're very cute."
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Post by pj on Nov 6, 2008 17:17:34 GMT -5
Peter watched Ernest with curious eyes as he scrunch up even going so far as to shut his eyes and, he had to admit he did look quite funny and could help a small giggle leave his mouth. Daw! Though he supposed it was just one of those things after all not every one was a fan of people. His youngest brother wasn’t for sure, he once torched a neighbors mailbox and it made Peter smile to think he probably had something to do with that kids fucked-up-ness. “Boo.” Peter said with a grin when Ernest opened his eyes again, he only wanted to relax the guy a little even if in doing that he had to rip the band-aid off quickly. He breathed a small sigh of relief when he saw a small smile run over Ernest’s lips.
“Pfft. We all have our little things, if you came up to me in dark ally I would actually fall over .” He thought for a second, “Not that your scary...but the dark, you know just creeps the shit outta me!” Peter laughed running a hand through his hair and briefly looked up at the sky, the clouds had drifted away from the sun and it hit him the face leaving multi-colored circles in his vision.
Peter could hear the uncomfortableness within Ernest’s voice and it almost made him cringe a little. “Bah, thanks...even though it’s not the girls I’m interested in.” He said with a light smile, “You looks like the kinda guy that has no trouble with them though.” Obviously assuming the uncomfortableness came from Ernest been...not like other boys, straight!
Oh the horror.
But Peter didn’t feel right putting a label on people, he’d hated it when his parents did it to him back home even if it was out of ‘affection’.
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Anna
Senior Member
the guilty one.
Posts: 412
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Post by Anna on Nov 6, 2008 17:25:03 GMT -5
Ernest couldn't help but smile a little bit. He kept his eyes trained on the rippling water, but felt a bit more at ease when he replied. "I'm petrified of the dark," he admitted, feeling his cheeks pink.
He even still sleeped with a small nightlight. Or, at least he did back home... he didn't know how his roommate would respond if he pulled out the small plug-in lamp to illuminate the room as they slept. He hoped he didn't mind. He wasn't sure he could sleep without the lights on.
"That's good that you're not interested in girls," he said seriously, obviously missing what Peter had been implying. "My father always tells me that until it's time to find a wife and start a family, I shouldn't think too much about girls. He says that if I st-study hard and concentrate on learning the Word, God's plan will lead me to the right girl. So I'm not interested in girls either."
His eyes flickered very briefly over to the boy, and he attempted to smile at him, relaxed now that they had found something in common.
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Post by pj on Nov 6, 2008 17:41:39 GMT -5
A crooked smile played across his face as Ernest shared that he was petrified by the dark as well, it was an embarrassing thing to tell someone but there was something...calming about Ernest. But his little smile was replaced by a frown, had Ernest missed what he had said all to gather or just miss heard him.
He refrained from correcting him and listened to his voice talking about his father, the word God pricked his ears up. Now Peter wasn’t against God far from it, he just hated people twisting his words. When he first came out he bumped into the local priest at the grocery store, he’d talked at Peter about the sins he was committing and Peter just smiled and said “Well thats life.” And about three months later that same priest was convicted of child molestation, now I don’t think God would approve of that...do you?
“He sounds like a real hard ass.” Peter said honestly, “Personally I don’t believe in the perfect little family, when I’m older I want a little chinese baby and loft apartment with the guy of my dreams. As for studying...you gotta live a little Ernie.” He lightly teased flicking a piece of grass toward him with a playful grin.
Honestly though, Peter did want that life...he wanted the loft apartment in somewhere fabulous and the man of his dreams and, maybe the baby could wait until he had successful job. His dream would to be a journalist, it was a secret little passion of his that he didn’t tend to share with anyone!
“Which is why one night we’ll do something spectacular! I don’t know what yet but by George you’ll have fun!” Peter said with enthusiasm and a playful smile.
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Anna
Senior Member
the guilty one.
Posts: 412
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Post by Anna on Nov 6, 2008 20:22:18 GMT -5
"Oh, n-no, he's not a hard -- well. No, he's not like that," he started, shaking his head. He'd never thought of his father in that way at all. He'd raised him well, always been kind of supportive, ready with a Bible verse whenever something was bothering him. He loved his father and knew that everything he wanted of Ernest was for the best of him.
Ernest didn't see anything wrong with waiting until he had gotten the most out of his education to think about girls. There were so many other beautiful things he hadn't experienced that he didn't feel like he was missing out. When God wanted him to start liking girls, he would.
"I mean sometimes he's a little harsh, but -- "
Suddenly, what Peter had said registered in his mind, and his sentence ended in an abrupt and accidental squeak. "Oh, my -- I mean, what do you mean?" he stumbled, face burning. He wasn't used to people being so.. friendly? People were always perfectly pleasant, but already an invitation? "I don't - I mean. That would be nice. But I l-like my life as it is, too. Studying is interesting. And I don't m-mind time to myself."
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Post by pj on Nov 6, 2008 20:44:53 GMT -5
“Calm down dear.” Peter said light heartedly but a lop sided frown planted on his lips, he couldn’t but feel a little bad after all it wasn’t in his place to call on anyones family especially since he had his own little fucked up family at home. Though they weren't God fear folk...they weren't anything really, maybe secretly Peter craved for the structure of normal family, it might be nice to be told what to do for a change rather than getting away with murder. A hollow sigh left his mouth.
“You should meet my dad, he isn’t much for the wrath of the lord or whatever them kids are into these days.” Peter shrugged, in fact he couldn’t remember ever gracing the inside of church before. actually thats a lie, once on a school trip but he accidentally defaced the baby Jesus with candle wax, the less said on the subject the better!
“What do I mean?” Peter laughed, “I mean we’ll do something fun...watch a movie? Eat things that are bad for us and then pass out because of a sugar crash.” He said acting some what proud of himself. “Studying all nice and dandy but you have to live a little right? I’m begging to think I was sent here for a reason.” Peter smiled flinging another piece of grass in Ernest’s direction, “So what you say? Yes or no....and if you pick no i’ll kidnap you anyway and force the night on you, you reallly don’t have a choice.” He let out an evil little laugh before lying back placing his hands behind his head for comfort not caring what the other thought of him.
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Anna
Senior Member
the guilty one.
Posts: 412
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Post by Anna on Nov 6, 2008 21:06:32 GMT -5
Ernest nodded enthusiastically, his body now a battle ground of mingled excitement and leftover nerves. He smiled though, almost able to look Peter in the eyes. Small things like this really did please the boy -- meeting new friends, not passing out from nerves.
"I would really like that," he said genuinely. "It'd be really nice. You .. you won't have to kidnap me. I promise."
The first day, and Ernest already had a new friend. His heart beat quickly against his chest, threatening to tear his ribs off like paper. Maybe if he had more guy friends, he could learn to be less nervous around them. Maybe that's what his father wanted him to learn.
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Post by pj on Nov 7, 2008 9:59:28 GMT -5
The clouds drifted by but this time he made an effort to not stair directly at the sun, bad idea. Peter curled around onto his side with one hand plated under his head propping it on as he looking at Ernest as he spoke, he couldn't help let a wide grin spread across his face. Ernest seemed as though he was relaxing some more around Peter even though he could still the remaining ribbons of nervousness play over the guys body, he ran his free hand through his hair. "Well good." he said simply before letting out a soft sigh, "Because I think you could probably take me if I tried it." Peter said before flopping back down onto his back one hand behind his head as the bother aimlessly played with bottom of shirt exposing a patching his skin to cool air.
A shudder ran up his spine, "So you seriously saying you've never had a..." Something stopped Peter before he could finish, he hadn't quite made up his mind yet about Ernest. There was just something about him that he couldn't put his finger on, "a girlfriend-" he let word roll off his tongue elongating it slightly, "Thats crazy...I'd have pegged you for a right ladies man." or a mans man. Peter smiled up at the clouds slightly, "I was never much of a ladies man mind." He spoke to fill the silence...he hated silence, "I never really got girls...you know? I mean I love them to bits and they're so much easier to talk to than guys." Peter said simply with a sigh.
"I'll stop talking now..." Peter said with a slight laugh, he did sometimes have a tendency to go off on little tangents forgetting there was ever anyone there to listen to him ramble on.
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Anna
Senior Member
the guilty one.
Posts: 412
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Post by Anna on Nov 7, 2008 10:11:40 GMT -5
Ernest laughed. It came out a pleasant sound this time, no longer a choked up giggle. There was still a softness to it, but hey, it was getting better. He glanced to the side to throw Peter a smile, but noticing the boys change in position, he looked pointedly away again.
"Oh, no I -- I mean, you must be joking, right?" he said. A rush of warmth was flooding through his insides now. Peter was so friendly, and though he was teasing him, Ernest didn't feel picked on. "I've never really w-wanted a girlfriend. I don't -- I mean, they don't -- no, I'm not a ladies man."
"And, I know what you mean! Girls are easier to talk to," he agreed enthusiastically. "Not nearly as... sc-scary as boys. I'm sorry, I know that sounds silly. But boys make me n-nervous." He smiled faintly, embarrassed, and looked down at his hands, which were now locked together in his lap.
"You can t-talk for as long as you'd like," he said. "I don't mind. I've always enjoyed listening more than talking. This is the longest I've talked in awhile, I think." He glanced up at Peter again. "I kn-know, it's a bit pathetic."
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