Miss Murder
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90% delirious, 3% neurotic, 7% difficult.[M:0]
I just break down so badly, in the worst way.
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Post by Miss Murder on Oct 30, 2009 23:23:48 GMT -5
Christian laughed as Adam described his trip on the plane. "Well, I just might try that strategy on my trip back home. They were playing the Lion King on my trip. It's not a bad movie, but the part his father dies always gets to me," he confessed a little embarrassed. It was true, though, he really did feel for the little cub who lost his father due to his own mishap. It wasn't entirely his fault, but he didn't find that out until much later. Christian couldn't imagine living with such a burden for so long.
He was surprised by when Adam pulled out a photo album. Chris sat up on his bed to get a better view. "Your mother?" he asked casually. He relieved to know he wasn't the only one feeling homesick. Christian could also understand the need to see someone, and the longing you felt once you knew you couldn't. Glancing at the picture of his grandmother, from the corner of his eye, Christian gave it a weak smile. It was just the saying, you don't know what you got until it was gone.
Feeling the atmosphere go a little heavy Chris shifted on his bed. "It wouldn't be long until vacation. The first few weeks go by pretty fast, and the holidays hit you right in a line. Plus, there is parent's day where they are welcome to visit. I hope my mom comes," Christian thought of his mother coming into the school carry a tray of chocolate chip cookies. She'd most likely have people carrying in boxes to feed the whole school. She loved catering to people, and found pleasure in feeding all of Christian's friends. Even if they weren't his friends they'd still get their fair share. It was something he adored about his mother, but since she enjoyed working hard he didn't see her much outside of the kitchen. The two were still close though, but at time he'd rather talk to his grandmother.
"My mom will probably be bringing in something... extravagant. She always does," he shook his head a bit, but still had a smile on. "I'm not sure what impressions she'll make on this school. It's," he paused to think of the right word to describe it, "much different from home." His home was small. He had his own room, and his sisters and parents shared a room. They all had one bathroom, and the dining room and the living room were connected. The kitchen wasn't huge, much to his mother's displeasure, but it was satisfactory she said. He wished he'd get a good job so he could buy his mother a wonderful house, and his father his own workshop to tinker in. Perhaps, even a place where his sisters each had their own bathroom.
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Sarah
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Post by Sarah on Oct 30, 2009 23:50:17 GMT -5
Adam looked up to the other to nod solemnly, but he wasn't fully there. He knew what Chris was talking about, at least. And, Adam would admit, the story had touched him when he was younger. But, he didn't see such sentimental value. He knew how the story ended-- the cub became king. That was all that counted in the end, Adam thought. Again Adam nodded, but he felt the urge to blush. He was such a Mama's boy, wasn't he? That was what his brother said, at least. But, most of the time, he didn't mind being called that. Because, well, when Trent ever said that, Adam could just stick his tongue out, deny the claim, and cuddle back into his mother's side. But now, his mother and brother were both not present. But, what would Adam give to see either of them? The entire world. Even to see his brother. Trent was by no means a bad brother, but the two of them had separated on a bad note, that was all. "That's her." Adam murmured softly. He hated himself for already showing weakness to this other boy. But, honestly, in the verge of an hour, Chris had seen many of Adam's true colors. His sexual nature, his love of his mother. There was much more, yes, but that was a great deal as well. That's right. Adam just had to remind himself that the days would go by fast, and then he would be back with his mother again, even if just for a little while. Of course, that was under the assumption that his parents would come. He hoped and prayed that they would-- they had even told them that they would-- but Adam still couldn't help but doubt. He was nowhere near such a paranoid state, but when he was, Adam could be a worry-wart. And though Adam immediately knew that the boy was trying to comfort him-- something Adam didn't really like to hear, unless it came from his mother-- he appreciated it. Chris didn't make him feel weak or feminine in how he spoke, and easily changed the topic. Adam smiled, somewhat weakly compared to other times, and nodded. He knew little of just how different this place was. "You're telling me." - - - - - - - - - - In a matter of hours, the boys were called down to the assembly. Adam went against his previous word, however, and came along as well. And, he decided something for himself as well-- He had been right in thinking the principal was a nut. And, frankly, Adam hoped he never had to speak to that man in his life. By nine o'clock, the boys were told to remain in their dorms-- light's out would follow shortly. Adam still hadn't unpacked any of his bags, minus his bag of toiletrees and the photo album that sat picture-up on his night-stand. Adam didn't bother with pulling on a set of the pajamas he had packed, and simply stripped off his jeans-- he hadn't changed since the flight-- along with his shirt, to remain in his undershirt and spongebob squarepants boxers. He didn't think much of it, Chris may as well get used to seeing him this way. It was how Adam was most comfortable. Without having to be told, Adam had climbed into his bed and turned out his lamp. He pulled the quilt near to his cheeks and rolled over to a comfortable position. As he drifted to sleep, he didn't think much of the violent storm outside. The only thought that even crossed his mind about it was I wonder if Mom's having this kind of weather at home, too.
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Miss Murder
Administrator
90% delirious, 3% neurotic, 7% difficult.[M:0]
I just break down so badly, in the worst way.
Posts: 241
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Post by Miss Murder on Oct 31, 2009 0:30:08 GMT -5
Christian returned to the door completely exasperated. The meeting wasn't like anything he had anticipated. The principal was very odd, even for Christian's standards, and slightly neurotic. As the toured them around the school his facial expressions continued to change from kind smiles to playful glares. He had a certain charm to him though. It was one Christian couldn't quite describe, but perhaps the word was mischievous.
Dragging his feet through the carpet Chris sat on the edge of his bed. It had taken longer than he had expected, and now all he could think about was going to bed. Not looking at Adam as he stripped off his pants Chris opened a drawer and snatched his pajamas. Closing the bathroom door, and locking it behind him, he stripped out of the clothes he hadn't changed out of he had left home. They still smelled like home, and he was hesitant to take them off. However, it was only matter of seconds until he changed into a set of flannel pjs. Deciding to skip brushing his teeth because he had thrown out the dirty tooth brush Chris unlocked the door and stepped out. Adam was already in bed, and night was peaceful.
He quickly fell asleep. At once he was home again, and the smell of baking goods filling his nostrils. His two sisters were quietly playing a card game, and he sat observing. No one seemed to notice his presence. His spot for dinner had the absence of a plate and silverware. So, he sat silently listening in to how their day was. No one asked how his had went. Feeling a little lonely he went off to explore the house. Luckily, his room seemed the same as he had left it that morning. It felt empty, but also familiar. Something like the feel of his dream. He wasn't there, but it felt good to recognize it and just observe.
Sometime, deep into the night, a loud crack rang in Christian's ears. Jumping up, from the familiarity of his home, he squinted into the dark. Where was he? Sleepily pushing off the covers he mindlessly stood up and crossed the room. His walk was zombie-like, and he stumbled a couple of times in his sleep. Finally he felt out what he believed to be a mattress. He could hear the breathing of whomever slept there, and without thinking crawled up into it. Curling up at the end of the bed he closed his eyes content. Hearing and knowing someone was by your side was comforting. The storm raged on, and he gripped the sheets tightly. Light flashed and red from behind his eyelids. The crack of thunder making him more aware of the dryness in his throat. It was getting harder to breath.
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Sarah
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Post by Sarah on Oct 31, 2009 0:46:20 GMT -5
Surprisingly, Adam had found it fairly easy to fall asleep that night, and his sleep wasn't even dreamless. Rather instead, his mind's eye played for him a comforting picture-show of the recent events of just the last sunday. It was the night before everything seemed to have gone wrong for him. Sure, he had been anticipating his arrival at Eddingborough for the past year, but school wasn't the thing that had gone wrong. It was the last night, Adam's dream told him, that his family was whole. Perhaps it didn't seem that way at the time, but it was true all the same.
The scene was nothing out of the ordinary, which was only more comfort for the homesick boy. His mother sat on one end of the couch, leaning lovingly into her husband, as she always did. Next to her Adam did the same, nuzzled his face near to her body and inhaled. She always smelled of the same perfume, one of which always reminded Adam of baby powder. On the floor, Trenton aptly whizzed around on a laptop without a care, without a word. He was always on that thing. But, at the time, it had only been a small curiousity in Adam's mind. Only Adam and the rest of his family didn't know how that little detail easily turned their life upside-down.
But, in dreamworld, Adam didn't have that to worry about. To him, Trent was just being Trent, and nothing more. He leaned further into his mother's lap and let his eyes close. Whether Adam realized it subconciously or not, the crack of thunder from the real world was out of place in his little fantasy. But, his family went on without hearing it, for it was only a memory.
However, when Adam really felt a shuffling of cloth, a feeling from the present world he resided in, he jerked awake. What the hell? He stared around blindly, blinking his eyes. It was impossible to see what, or better yet who, was near to him in the dark as Adam wiped the sleep from his eyes. A crack of lightning made him jump further more awake, and finally he was able to stare down at the boy who now shared his bed.
Perhaps if Adam had been in better temperment and mind-set, maybe he wouldn't have reacted the way he did, to see another boy sleeping in his bed. What the fuck? Was this a nightmare of him becoming a homo? Adam began to breathe through his mouth as his pulse quickened. Quickly, he seized his bedsheets and pulled. His whisper hissed through his teeth fiercly: "What the fuck do you think you're doing in my bed, homo?!" The boy's voice sounded more angered than it did frightened, but it was exactly the opposite.
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Miss Murder
Administrator
90% delirious, 3% neurotic, 7% difficult.[M:0]
I just break down so badly, in the worst way.
Posts: 241
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Post by Miss Murder on Nov 4, 2009 19:49:26 GMT -5
Christian tried to bury his head in the sheets, and avoided the flashing lights with all his might. Though red light still flickered from behind his eyelids. Finally starting to get comfortable, as comfortable as one might be in terror, Christian was discovered. He could feel the clenching of sheets, and suddenly they were ripped from his grasp. Falling off the edge of the bed in surprise he landed on the floor with a smack. The hard floor stunning him briefly, but waking him up.
With his descend to the floor there was an angry hiss from above. A little foggy on what had just happened Chris sat up. Wearily keeping a good eye on the window. "I'm not a homo," he said his voice heavy with sleep. Clenching his fingers around his knees tightly he rocked to sooth himself. What was he supposed to say that would be believable. Christian most certainly didn't like men, and move in that direction in anyway. In fact, he wished not to think about men getting together because what it was sure to lead to. So how was he supposed to explain to Adam he had no intention of doing anything in that category to him? Speechless for several minutes he cowered under the crashing of thunder. "Slept walked," he said tightly trying to contain the whining in his voice.
Light filled the room, and a dry crack followed. The boy's hands snapped to his ears, and he squeezed his eyes shut. He longed to curl up under the covers at home. To silently listen to the peaceful breathing of another human being. To sense their calm presence, and absorb it for himself. However, he doubted Adam would understand, and it was best to leave the boy alone after what happened.
Crawling across the floor, quickly, to his side of the room Chris stopped by his bed. He didn't look back to see what kind of expression Adam held, whether it be terror or fury. He didn't have the strength to heave himself onto the bed, and so Chris lied his head against the mattress for support. He leaned on the frame and quietly breathed through his nose. Was the room closing up on him? It felt like it. He was going to be crushed in the dark of night. The light flashed again, but nothing appeared to have moved from it's place that morning. So why was it getting closer in the dark? Could it only move in the night? It wouldn't be long until he was crushed. Taking deeper breaths from his mouth now Chris gasped for air. It wouldn't be long... the world was closing in on him all at once. Bye grandma, he prayed silently shivering against the side of his bed. A pitiful end he head been left to.
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Sarah
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Post by Sarah on Nov 4, 2009 20:34:16 GMT -5
Adam clutched the sheets near to him, mainly to cover his lower half. Well, his boxers were still on, so Chris hadn't gotten that far, at least. He didn't want the other boy... groping him.... trying to share his bed.... Adam shuddered violent in the sheets, feeling the room whirl around him. He had actually fallen asleep with a gay boy in his bedroom-- how dare he?! That was asking for trouble to let his guard down like that. Adam forced his eyes to close, and breathed out of his mouth. He never had these kinds of feelings in his mind before, and he barely knew how to cope. And, it wasn't really working.
When he could bare to open his eyes again, he never moved his eyes from the other boy, who was rolled up into a ball on the floor next to him. His words came across, but Adam wasn't certain of its truth. He licked his wet lips and swallowed. "A-Are you okay?" He whispered. Yeah, sleep walking. That was a perfectly normal thing, right? Adam was trying to believe the boy, at least, even if he was suspicious.
Chris scurried over to his own bed soon enough, and Adam kept his eyes further strained. Seeing the boy flinch and his breathing begin to accelerate as lightning flashed Adam blinked. Slowly, carefully, Adam slipped out of his bed. He could... he could try to help him, even if he was a little shaken up himself. "Ch-Chris," He murmured. "Are you okay?" What a first day this was. To have the other find him masturbating-- or about to start at least, and now with both of them nearly scared out of their wits.
Adam crawled along the floor as well-- not thinking of walking on his feet-- but kept his distance away from Chris. He made his way to the other boy's nightstand and picked up the orange bottle. "Ch-Chris," He whispered. "He-Here. Take one of these. It's okay." Adam didn't know how to comfort very well. He wasn't an older brother. But, he was trying to think of what his own brother would do if he was in this scenario.
Maybe the first thing they should have done was a game of truth or dare-- and for each truth they had to admit what they were deathly afraid of and how to handle it. Then, Adam wouldn't be as blind-sighted as he was now, as scared shitless as he was now. But, he was at least trying, right?
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Miss Murder
Administrator
90% delirious, 3% neurotic, 7% difficult.[M:0]
I just break down so badly, in the worst way.
Posts: 241
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Post by Miss Murder on Nov 4, 2009 20:51:35 GMT -5
Christian was surprised to Adam crossing the room. In a sequences of flashes he could see, from the corner of his eye, the figure getting closer. Inching closer to the frame of the bed for protection he suspiciously watched the dark figure. Only to realize it was Adam with a familiar bottle. "I," he said a little shaky, "I don't need it." A little phased on his dignity Christian straightened himself up. With wobbling knees he bent over onto his bed, and collapsed on the mattress. It heaved to support the sudden mass, but held through. Chris didn't need the pills at home, and he most certainly wasn't going wimpy as to take two in one day.
"Thanks though," he said weakly and stole the bottle form Adam. Dropping it next to him he stared into the dark and through the orange plastic. Pills. They were tempting to take because he knew he'd be instantly soothed by a heavy layer of fog. His pride wouldn't allow him to twist the cap, but most of all his strength wouldn't let him. He was a little concerned if he did weaken enough in his mental state to take the pills then he'd be too weak to open the bottle. How stupid was that? He should have left the lid off. It would have been much more logical.
Sweat broke out on his forehead, and he could feel himself not far from hyperventilating. Half off the bed, and half on Chris gripped the sheets tightly in fear of falling off again. The floor was cold and lonely, but somehow being elevated helped. He could hear Adam's quick, rough breaths. He didn't seemed all that well either. Was it really that bad that Christian had slide into his bed? Course, it sounded a lot worse than it was. He befriended a pair of twin boys once, and they both had to share a bed. So why was Adam freaking out so much? Did he really think Chris was going to go places with him? Feeling a little sick with the kid's misunderstanding he squeezed his eyes shut again. He was being such a problem.
Suddenly, the cracks of lighting and booming of thunder hushed ever so slightly. It became less frequent, and just as soon as it had came it was leaving. Heaving a silent breath of relief Chris began to relax a little more. His breath was still rushed, but not as urgent. He could feel sleep loom over him again, and the lively room began to tone down. His mind panic set filling off, and set on concern for Adam. Was he okay himself?
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Sarah
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Post by Sarah on Nov 4, 2009 21:03:59 GMT -5
Oh Pride, and it's bittersweet taste. Sweet, because then there is some dignity left to spare. Bitter, because it holds back what you truly need to accept. But, both boys had their fair share of overly-zealous pride. Adam knew that's all that was keeping the boy from sucking down those pills, but he didn't persist. Adam just slowly nodded and scooted his socked feet across the floor to put some, but not much, distance between them. If the kid didn't want them, then fine, but Adam was close to taking a few himself. He had never been this worked up. This worked up, and without anyone to help him. The fact only made his panicking turn into worry, and more homesickness.
It was going to be the death of him, one day, but not tonight. The boy closed his eyes harshly, just in time to feel water spring to them. He didn't bother to wipe it away-- yes, he had pride still left with in him, but there was no point in doing it if the boy couldn't see him. He merely nodded as he heard the boy speak, even if he didn't understand the words he spoke. It was all mushed-up words to him now, while he was trying to calm himself.
Frankly, it was getting pathetic, and Adam knew it. He just couldn't get grip of himself in order to calm himself. "Y-You're fine, Adam.' He whispered to himself, trying to imagine that it was his mother speaking the words to him. "Y-You're going to be fine. Nothing's wrong, and you're okay..." How embarrasing was it, to be the sappy little first year that was going to drive himself insane?
Adam roughly gripped his knees and leaned his head down as he attempted to calm his breathing. Along with it, he was trying to imagine it was his mother's embrace and not his own. But, shockingly, thinking of his mother did not calm him down. He hated this. Maybe he was the one who was queer, all this crying and... Heaven forbid... emotions such as these. It just wasn't very manly.
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Miss Murder
Administrator
90% delirious, 3% neurotic, 7% difficult.[M:0]
I just break down so badly, in the worst way.
Posts: 241
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Post by Miss Murder on Dec 11, 2009 16:27:45 GMT -5
Christian retreated to a small corner in the back of his mind. Telling himself, quietly, that everything was going to be okay. However, he couldn't control the shaking. His body trembled weakly, in despair, and his stomach was lost somewhere in his intestine. Somehow he managed to pull his entire body up onto the bed, and curled up right on the side - ready to fall off.
He didn't want to be a burden on Adam, and he could see he already was. Loosing the grip on the sheets he took a deep breath. Squinting in the dark of night to spot a moving shape. He flinched as light flashed outside followed by a sharp crash. The pills were accessible, but he refused the idea. He'd make it through. Perhaps he should have taken something to help him sleep. It would have been a far better plan.
He wondered how Adam was fairing in the dark room. Had the power gone out? Perhaps they could turn on a lamp. However, the chance, even close to none, of getting electrocuted stopped Christian from executing the plan. Instead he squeezed his eyes shut, and entangled his fingers into a deadlock on the sheets. Think of home. A peaceful night.. His parents were just down the hall, and his two sisters quietly reading through the night or drawing. His breathing slowed, and eventually the frightening shock he had got earlier sinking in and leaving. Should he apologize again?
Adam seemed angry. Very angry for his little stunt. Honestly, he didn't mean to bother the boy, but it was just a habit. A dreadfully troublesome habit. It was just Chris's luck to get a thunderstorm on his first night at the school. It was unfair, but he'd deal. However, the issue of having an enraged and then shaken room mate was - chances of relationship fell dramatically. What should he do? Opening his eyes, and peering hopelessly in the dark, in search of something. Anything. It didn't matter. Something to tell him he hadn't fallen so far from earth.
Then an idea came to mind, buy him a gift. It seemed a little cheap, buying over your room mate, with a present. It seemed like the only thing he could do though. Problem was, he had absolutely no idea what his room mate liked and didn't like. With the exception of.... His stomach itched again. Remembering the situation he had been that morning. First impressions were NOT one of his strengths. But then, a glitter of hope. Adam liked his mom's brownies, right? He could cook the boy something! Living with a mom, like his, made it impossible not to know how to cook. He had been pushed into it from a young age. So, he could probably manage making something fairly appetizing, by his mother's standards.
Closing his eyes again Christian willed himself to stay still, even with the storm continuing outside. Eventually, after what seemed hours, he drifted into a light doze. Easily disturbed by any change in environment.
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Sarah
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Post by Sarah on Dec 27, 2009 19:00:39 GMT -5
[Sorry for taking so long with this one! Even now I don't think it's very much up to par.]
Had his phobias ever manifested themselves so horribly before? Sure, Adam could remember a time when he had become upset by one of his other fears--his loathing of tightly enclosed spaces-- had he began to shake. But, he couldn't quite remember a time when he had been shaking uncontrolably and sick to his stomach as well. It wasn't a good combination; his shaking only upset his stomach more. He swallowed to extinguish the burning at the back of his throat, without sucess. It wasn't heartburn, and Adam regretted the thought.
In the end, it was best that Chris didn't turn on a light when Adam vomited violently. It couldn't have been a pretty sight. Adam's cheeks flushed red as he panted to gain back some breath. Great, not only was he still rattled, but now he had a mess to clean up as well. Hopefully Chris wasn't the kind of person who fainted or even puked himself when he saw such a nasty sight.
Adam's nose wrinkled and he used his long legs to kick himself away from the mess. He'd clean it up soon, if he wasn't lucky enough to fall asleep first. He felt a little bit better, in a strange way. His stomach hadn't hurt before, and his naseau wasn't gone, but his shaking had stopped at least. He breathed heavily in and out of his mouth before he closed his eyes. Please, just let sleep take him away. He was going to be stressed out enough with classes tomorrow anyway; insomnia wouldn't cure anything.
But, if he couldn't sleep, then he should use the time to his advantage. If Chris was settled and up for it, they'd figure out just what the hell was wrong with them. Adam had figured out though, that for Chris to think rationally, the storm would need to quit, or at least come to a silent state in its rage. It wasn't like Adam was really dying to talk to Chris about this whole mess, but it would be the best for the both of them.
Adam opened his eyes and sighed to himself. "C-Chris," he whispered hoarsely. His throat burned so bad that he didn't even want to whisper. "Don't ever do that again. Okay? Okay?" This time it was a bout of vomit, next time it could be a full fleged panic attack, even worse than this one.
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