Post by Anna on Dec 14, 2008 18:00:37 GMT -5
a conversation I was having with my friend David about the Twilight Vampire Universe.
I thought some people might find it enjoyable (:
--
David: "You're faster than the others--!"
David: "But not ...stronger."
David: And then some sort of... tackle that results in the floorboards flying every which way.
xx smirk: Yep xD
David: Although the smashing of Edwards' entire body just barely cracked the mirror.
David: Vampire physics, of course.
xx smirk: When it comes to vampires, rules are meant to be broken.
David: It's probably the sparkles. They change everything.
xx smirk: Just ask SMeyer how she said vampires didn't have body fluids, and yet somehow, Bella still got pregnant.
David: venom is a body fluid, isn't it?
xx smirk: Okay no body fluid except venom.
xx smirk: But you can't impregnate someone with venom, can you?
xx smirk: That would like ..
xx smirk: burn their uterus.
David: ouch
xx smirk: So I dunno.
xx smirk: But Bella got pregnant.
xx smirk: And I want to know how.
David: It's probably the sparkles.
David: They probably work the same way.
David: You know.
xx smirk: AND CALL BE CRUDE, BUT ..
xx smirk: To get pregnant, you have to have sex, and for a guy to have sex, I think there's some sort of BODY FLUID needed to make it .. um, in working, sex-having order.
David: You seem to have chosen your words carefully.
David: Again, sparkles
David: He... lets loose sparkles.
xx smirk: I'm just trying not to be rude (:
xx smirk: ...
xx smirk: HAHAH.
David: I'm pretty confident about this.
xx smirk: So do you think that when the sparkles aren't on the skin.
xx smirk: Like, when it's dark
xx smirk: they're somewhere inside of him
xx smirk: ready to rush where ever needed?
David: He probably sneezes sparkles, too.
David: If there were some sort of... vampire cold.
David: It's all-purpose, I think.
xx smirk: How handy.
David: And that's why vampires don't have body fluids. They've evolved sparkles.
David: i bet they cure cancer too
xx smirk: You know, I bet they do.
xx smirk: Man, though, that must be a mess.
xx smirk: Oh gosh.
xx smirk: I bet they cry angsty sparkle tears too.
David: oh wow
David: Can we assume that the vampires convert the blood they drink into sparkle-magic?
xx smirk: Yes, there must be some sort of sparkle factory in their stomach.
David: one goes in, one comes out
David: We could write a medical textbook about vampire physiology, at this rate.
xx smirk: We should.
I thought some people might find it enjoyable (:
--
David: "You're faster than the others--!"
David: "But not ...stronger."
David: And then some sort of... tackle that results in the floorboards flying every which way.
xx smirk: Yep xD
David: Although the smashing of Edwards' entire body just barely cracked the mirror.
David: Vampire physics, of course.
xx smirk: When it comes to vampires, rules are meant to be broken.
David: It's probably the sparkles. They change everything.
xx smirk: Just ask SMeyer how she said vampires didn't have body fluids, and yet somehow, Bella still got pregnant.
David: venom is a body fluid, isn't it?
xx smirk: Okay no body fluid except venom.
xx smirk: But you can't impregnate someone with venom, can you?
xx smirk: That would like ..
xx smirk: burn their uterus.
David: ouch
xx smirk: So I dunno.
xx smirk: But Bella got pregnant.
xx smirk: And I want to know how.
David: It's probably the sparkles.
David: They probably work the same way.
David: You know.
xx smirk: AND CALL BE CRUDE, BUT ..
xx smirk: To get pregnant, you have to have sex, and for a guy to have sex, I think there's some sort of BODY FLUID needed to make it .. um, in working, sex-having order.
David: You seem to have chosen your words carefully.
David: Again, sparkles
David: He... lets loose sparkles.
xx smirk: I'm just trying not to be rude (:
xx smirk: ...
xx smirk: HAHAH.
David: I'm pretty confident about this.
xx smirk: So do you think that when the sparkles aren't on the skin.
xx smirk: Like, when it's dark
xx smirk: they're somewhere inside of him
xx smirk: ready to rush where ever needed?
David: He probably sneezes sparkles, too.
David: If there were some sort of... vampire cold.
David: It's all-purpose, I think.
xx smirk: How handy.
David: And that's why vampires don't have body fluids. They've evolved sparkles.
David: i bet they cure cancer too
xx smirk: You know, I bet they do.
xx smirk: Man, though, that must be a mess.
xx smirk: Oh gosh.
xx smirk: I bet they cry angsty sparkle tears too.
David: oh wow
David: Can we assume that the vampires convert the blood they drink into sparkle-magic?
xx smirk: Yes, there must be some sort of sparkle factory in their stomach.
David: one goes in, one comes out
David: We could write a medical textbook about vampire physiology, at this rate.
xx smirk: We should.
