Akel&Jeramy When the going gets tough, outside...

[pj]

The boy stared up at the blank ceiling, his naked body tangled in the crisp white sheets. Next to him he could hear the rhythmic breathing of...Fuck what was he name? Kyle? Carl? In any case Jeramy gave him a short shove making the poor guy roll of the bed. “Time to go short stuff,” He said brashly feeling for a shirt and shoving it toward the guy before getting up himself. He stepped over the guy and grabbed his underwear off of the desk before slipping them on, by this time the guy had was already pretty much dressed. “Out, out, out! I got places to be and things to do.” Jeramy said almost pushing the guy out the door before a word of objection could even be uttered.

The door slammed shut on the nameless guy's face, a frown swept over his as he picked a clean shirt and then pulled on a pair of skinny black jeans. The shirt followed. Jeramy sat at the edge of his bed pulling on his dirty converse trainers, why did he do it to himself? Huh? Why did he do it?!

He got nothing from these little meetings only the feeling of complete loneliness and scuzzy as a whores thong. He shuddered before picking himself up taking long strides to the door. He was late for class, as always...though what was the point in going now? He’d only get shouted at. No, no there was no point not at all.

Jeramy slipped out the door checking to see of the coast was clean, it was. With a cheeky smirk on his face he passed down the stair case, almost bounding down the two by two before shoving the door open freeing him to the delights of the out doors. His arm gave a whine of pain, some guys where just so rough and though he didn’t complain it was a bitch when once was all said and done. All gay boys should go through sex ed...for gays, obviously, it would just make things go a lot smoother.

He rolled his eyes at himself as he strode through the grounds to somewhere out back of the school where he could get a little privacy as he slipped a cigarette packet out his pocket. He brought one out and rested it against his bottom lip before swiftly lighting, he took a drag but let some of the smoke go before in hailing it.

It was so quiet...Jeramy hated it like he hated the dark, it was like a vast echo of nothingness, a deafening sound that made him want to scream. Jeramy took another drag before exhaling with a slight moan, he couldn’t help himself. The little death stick was a pleasant wight between his thumb and forefinger, a nasty habit but the big dud up stairs shouldn’t have made it so damn good!

Legs doing the walking he scouted out the shade of a large oak tree, he felt so solitary...so claustrophobic in his own skin. Its been this way for a long time now, when Jeramy can think of nothing more than floating above his body not worrying about anything...suicidal? No! God no! No matter how things get and have gotten that little gem of an idea never forced itself onto him, he was fighter and though carried scars of life he wouldn’t give up on it...even if his future seemed bleak.

[charlie]

Well, that was rude.

Akel had been woken up in the earlier hours of the morning—but still, during class time—and had been sleeping in a bed that definitely was not his. It smelled less like other people, more like a boy who he didn’t even remember the name of at the moment. Jerome? Jared? No…Jeramy. He had remembered, talking with him and batting eyelashes innocently at him, until it drew the poor awkward boy in and eventually wound up kissing him in a way that could only be taught by someone else over the years. They had collapsed on the bed, which had groaned in complaint of two bodies frantically pulling off clothing, until…until he had woken up, pale blue take-me-home eyes happy and pleased as he smiled sleepily at the figure he assumed was the boy himself. He had been naked then, body still delightfully sore from something that could only be described as an A+ for effort. Well, Jeramy had certainly been willing…Akel had been only too happy to comply.

But now, he was stuck with soiled crumpled clothing and sitting on a bench outside with a sort of ‘wounded puppy’ expression on his face as he glanced around with his hair still dishelved.

Secretly, he was fuming at the fact that the other had just shoved him out and didn’t even try to say ‘thanks for the fucking good time’. Instead, it was more along the lines of ‘thanks for letting me make you feel like more of a disgusting whore and making your self-esteem go down to -7!’


Which, in fact, only pissed him off further.

Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted someone...oh, shit. It was that boy! Squinting, now angry that the other had lied to him for something so simple as sex and had pretty much decided to hang around a tree instead of him, there was a swift motion of him standing up with a determinded expression on normally pretty features. Though he was tired, he could...oh, he didn't know. He could talk to Jeramy, maybe try to charm his way past the other's obvious discomfort with casual sleeping-around and into the personality he had seen the night before when they were romping on those white sheets.

All it took was a bit of walking and a couple of winces from being sore - looks like he wasn't that flexible - and he was soon standing behind Jeramy himself, who seemed to be sitting down and taking what they did more than just hard. Or was it something else? Either way, he was determined to try and at least make some small-talk.

His arms oh-so-casually wrapping around Jeramy's waist as the shorter male stood behind him, he only had to lean up a bit to murmur something in the boy's ear to get his attention.

"Having fun?"

[pj]

The boy felt like he wanted a shower, no not because of the boy he'd carelessly shoved out of his room but, because it was his little ritual...scrub until he felt clean again. Jeramy shook his head slightly as he took another drag holding the smoke in his lungs until he couldn't stand it, he exhaled it slow watching the smokes curl and rise.

The sun was peeking over the trees and for some reason the sight warmed him and couldbn't help but smile, it offered some small glimmer of hope and suddenly Jeramy felt like that broken little boy again, a slender hand ran across his hair trying to drive away that black hole of feeling.

Lost in his own little world he winced as he felt familiar arms wrapping around his waist, and that voice...His mind went back into the night before with there bodies intertwined, panting and sweating, the taste of someone else's saliva in his mouth. Jeramy's startling blue eyes widened...that was just a one time thing as it always was, it meant nothing more than sex...right? Because if it didn't why would the boy be here now ares around his waist.

One hand wriggled down to push the boys arms away from his as he turned to face him, Akel! His name pounded into as visions of them together refused to vacate his mind. "I um I'm -" He swallowed hard, "Ok." Jeramy said feeling as if he'd just swallowed a large pill, this wasn't how it went...this was never how it went, they never came back cooing in his ear like, like lovers. "Haven't you got a class?" He asked sounding unsure as he took a final drag of the cigarette before dropping it to the floor and rubbing his feet over it, "I mean, I-I have a class." Jeramy said wanting to make a swift exit but his feet wouldn't let him.

[charlie]

Frowning playfully, 'full-flirt-mode' in gear, Akel simply took how supposedly uncomfortable Jeramy was by simply having his arms around him as a sign to go further. Pouting, teasing the other, he crossed his arms across his chest and leaned forward - lips so very, very dangerously close to those of the other boy's.

"Yeah, fuck the class."

It was said in a matter-of-factly way, really. Why would the other be here if he was trying to bullshit Akel by telling him that he had a nonexistent 'class' to go to?

"Or," he added with a sudden shrug, pale eyes wicked as the smile widened into a smirk, "you could fuck me instead. I'm thinking the latter would be better." Oh, poor Jeramy.

Bringing the final step closer to be nearer to the brunette, he let his lips wander very briefly along the other's jawline before stopping at the corner of his mouth - all the while, eyes half-way shut. "Unless you were just looking for a...one night stand."

[pj]

Jeramy went stiff and not where it mattered, though he didn't move from Akel as his lips moved closer to his and spoke. He didn't bother answering just looking down at the boy, he couldn't understand why the boy was here wanting...wanting to fuck, yes it had been good for that one night but that's all it was. Thats all it ever was.

"I-I'm...erm..." he stopped his nervous chatter as he felt the boys lips caress his skin, Jeramy's tongue make a quick motion across his lips to moisten them. "I, erm. W-why are you here?" He said before pushing the boy away, his heart beat a little faster. "We h-had sex. It was good...I suppose..." Jeramy lost his trail of thought making him pause for a minuet, his mouth began to form words but he shut his mouth again.

"Guy's don't u-usally stalk me out for another round." He said feeling as though he should just shut up, if this, this boy knew what he was he'd probably run a fucking mile never mind wanting another quick fuck. It was crude of him to think of it that way, but thats what it always was, just another quick fuck, another notch in the broken bed post. No, he wasn't about tell a total stranger that he sold himself, whored himself out.

Then why not live up to his expectations, "You wanna fuck right now?" His voice sounded strange even to him, the voice he used when his business lights flash bright. Jeramy stepped close to the boy once more one hand went up and tangled in Akel's hair, his lips so close he could feel the others boys breath on his. "Fifty bucks," Jeramy said confidently some part of him wanting to push the boy away, it'd be better that way.

[charlie]

Merely letting the flustered boy finish with his rant, what took Akel by surprise was when he felt his scalp being tugged in an almost erotically painful sort of way, and Jeramy pulling him closer. Well, well. he hadn't even seen this vicious side when they had sex. Why couldn't he have acted more dominant then, part of his mind wondered?

"Fifty bucks? Sounds a bit pricey. I didn't know you whored yourself like that, dear Jeramy."

Well, it was something that made Akel cringe inwardly. He...well, he didn't know that the other male was into 'that' sort of thing - AKA, getting paid just for having sex - and he shrugged, his facial expression giving hint that the libido was slightly ebbed away from the new discovery. "I'm not into people who make sex for prostitution," he said flatly. How else could he put it? Sex...sex was simply supposed to be for pleasure, for contact, for being so close. He didn't want to have to deal with any boy - no matter how pretty they were - when it came to paying to be led to the bedroom.

"Well...a kiss for free, I suppose." A smirk was all that Jeramy would get as a warning before Akel leaned forward, pressing his lips none-too-gently against the other's since they were so close already. It was hard, even slightly painful, rough - and the brunette loved it.

Jeramy tasted better than he had the night before.

This thought came childishly to his mind as he went for nearly a minute without breath, hands forcing the other's head to stay still as he worked his little 'miracle' of being able to charm himself to the other's bed without any money whatsoever. He knew the other would rebel at first, try to pull away...but not for long. Never for long.

[pj]

Jeramy listened the boys chatter, his eyes unmoving for the others part of him. He wanted to act out to what Akel was saying but he'd brought it on his self so he stood there silent, Jeramy's mouth moved to talk before be forced against the other boys. Did he never give up!...have no morals? His head spun and his hand clenched in the other boys hair, lightly tugging on it as he let his tongue glide over Akels.

This was all wrong was all he could think before pushing against him and twisting out of the boys grip, "G-go fuck yourself." he spluttered, "You c-come out with this shit about not wanting to be with someone who...who-" Jeramy couldn't form the words, he gulped hard the feeling of the giant pill returning again.

He took in a deep breath, "Who sells them selves." There he said it and there was no sucking it back into mouth, "Your p-pathetic." Jeramy almost spat the words out at him, "fuck I might be a f-fucking pr-prostitute but I-I don't sit on my hypocritical high horse and judge people." He sucked in a deep breath pushing away from the boy now fully, his back touching the bark of the tree its rough touch a welcome presence.

"Y-you don't know anything ab-about me, so-so fuck off and play your g-games with someone else." His eyes felt hot and Jeramy suddenly felt too aware, this wasn't him at all! He felt sick to his stomach and his face was washed of all colour, what had he just done...what had he just said?! To much to take back that was for sure.

[charlie]

Eyebrows raising, clearly skeptical even as he was shoved roughly backwards, Akel shrugged and pursed his lips shrewdly as he saw just what the male was referring to. But he chose to let Jeramy finish...let him mull over what he had just said.

Finally, he spoke, and his voice was nowhere as near as pleasant as it had once been.

"Funny that you should be saying this when you were the one shoving yourself into me, and then asking me to do it again and again and again last night."

Oh, Akel.

Taking a step closer, but minding his distance and keeping a little more than an arm's length away, he continued with the blunt and honest words as a new side of him that Jeramy definetely hadn't seen before began to show up. "And if you're talking about hypocritical," he added with a slightly disgusted look on his face, "then consider thinking about what you say before it comes running out of that pretty little mouth of yours." A pause, and a bitter smile that surprised him came out on normally pretty features. "And games? Tell me, dear Jeramy, what was that little romp we had yesterday? Wasn't that a game, too? And," he added breezily without giving the other a chance to talk as he plowed on, "I can tell you more about yourself than you can right about now. You're lonely, trying to prove yourself, and sex is something uncertain that you like to do just because it's a bit of cheap entertainment before you shove the whore who you fucked out of the door and into the hallway." The smirk became macabre, morbid even as the next words were delivered.

"Well, guess what peaches, the cheap entertainment came back."

[pj]

Jeramy’s eyes gazed, burning hot at Akel as he spoke. He could feel his face prickle hot and his hands clench into tight balls, his nails dug in deep. “You seriously have no clue,” He spoke in an almost whisper, “Your not even close you fuck wit.” jeramy sighed, “Unlike you I don’t need sex to validate me as useful, your a pathetic wanker needs to seriously grow up just a little bit.” He stood firm on his own feet releasing his palms from the agony of his nails where little semi circles of blood where appearing.

“You where nothing but a cheap thrill...and coming from me sugar thats something rotten.” He spat the words like venom, “But then I’d though that someone like yourself wouldn’t have minded been used like a fucking cum rag. But you did get one thing right about me, I am trying to prove myself and, you’ll never know what true loneliness feels.” He should have stopped himself, but he couldn’t, he couldn’t stop anything he was doing right now.

Jeramy’s boy shook with a mixture of anger and sadness, “Loneliness is when your not aloud to leave the house, loneliness is been felt up by your fucking father and having these pretty lips pressed against his cock...without a mother in sight to turn to.” Jeramy’s eyes burned hot and he could feel them stinging, “No, you don’t know loneliness sweetheart. Until you’ve had your child hood ripped away from you and stomped on by the people that are supposed to love you, you will never know loneliness.”

Silent tears blessed his clean face, “So yeah, I am trying to prove something to myself. That someday I’ll be able to have sex without feeling dirty and ashamed, without feeling that I don’t deserve to be tossed aside at the end of the night.” He turned his face away from Akel’s, “Now the cheap entertainments back darling and, maybe you’ll fuck off now...like every one else.” Jeramy pressed his back against the tree and slid down it feeling worn out, like everything had just came flooding out of him with nothing to stop it. His breathing was heavy as he pulled his knees up to his legs and looked up at Akel, he’d go...probably like every other fuck he’d have, like everyone he’d told his pathetic story too.

[charlie]

All Akel could do was stare as the words suddenly came pouring out, like a slap in the face.

Face paling slightly as he stood still, frozen, the anger suddenly vanished in the pit of his stomach and was instead replaced by the endless pit of dread that always came from hearing these sorts of things. But he let those words - those awful, tear-jerking words - come back to wash over him, just like so many other people had.

"And you think this makes you better than me or something."

When he finally spoke, the words came out as something that seemed to be ripped agonizingly slow from his very heart - no, his very soul - and pale eyes focused on blue. "My dad didn't rape me, he was a banker. My mom's still alive, she's living back in Iowa with him."

A pause, and a shuddering breath.

"There's different ways to be lonely, you know."

And now was the moment were he sat on the ground, a motionless figure in the cool grass as he stared silently at nothing in particular.

"No, I...know exactly what being lonely is." His eyes then connected with Jeramy's, burning with unseen emotion. "You even said it - I was a cheap thrill. How do you think that makes me feel, you bastard? I get used, and even when I'm laying in that bed the morning after or even a couple of minutes after the person's done fucking with me, I try and ask them to stay. I ask them to stay, and they always don't even give me a chance. It's people like you, who think that just because they have cocks that they put in me, they can go ahead and flush me away just like the stuff that goes down the drain after sex when they take that morning-after shower."

He was rambling now, and couldn't stop.

"And not once - not fucking once - did I ever see that same person again for sex. I thought you, of all people, were different."

Face hardening now, expression bleak, he shrugged before finally standing back up, feeling his welcome was overstayed.

"Looks like I was wrong, as usual."

[pj]

He swept the back of his hands across his eyes as he listened to the other boy speaking, Jeramy peek through his startling blue eyes now glinting with warm, salty tears. “I’m-I’m not better than you...” He spoke in a hushed voice as his eyes glanced to the side of him, as the boy continued to talk. No...he wasn’t better than anyone really.

Jeramy glanced up as Akel sat down, he glanced up briefly and shuffled nervously in place.

He sat there eyes flicking up to meet Akel’s as he spoke and he stood up, just like that and of this was a movie thats when that sad little piano would play. “Do you not think I get thrown to the side like trash too? I mean, I know w-what it’s like to be tossed aside and thrown out...I’m us-used to it.” Jeramy mused to himself eyes still holding unsung tears, “Every nigh I get home after getting shoved out of bed and scrub myself raw...I shouldn’t have shoved y-you out like that.” He inhaled sweeping his hand across his eyes again, “b-but I just...c-can’t handle it, p-p-people been t-to close to me.”

Blue eyes looked up at the boy, “You can’t just walk away like t-that.” He said suddenly feeling the urge to talk, true Akel aggravated him and, true Jeramy should just let the boy go and talk about him with his friends like had happened at his old school. The name calling would begin, and on more than one occasion he came home with a busted nose. “I-I didn’t mean to m-make you feel like shit...but, f-f-fuck I don’t know. Sit?” Jeramy questioned trying to sound a little more friendly, though he felt uncomfortable they both couldn’t deny they’d shared something about each other they probably wouldn’t admit to anyone else.

((ooc: oh my god i'm so sorry this is so weak! me thinks we should plot some >.<))

[charlie]

Akel was, by now, staring with suspicious eyes at Jeramy, who suddenly seemed to have his little rant backfire on him. Inwardly, though, he felt more like a bitch than someone who should've been satisfied - like he was the one who caused this horrible, stupid 'mistake' known as sex between them to happen. But seeing the male, broken and vulnerable like he was...it wasn't exactly pleasant, was it?

And so, without another word past slightly quivering lips, he gently sat down next to the other boy and wound his arms around the slightly familiar slumped form.

"Shush." It came out more petulant than angry, and within moments he was simply resting his head on Jeramy's shoulder. He couldn't bear this boy, no matter how annoying he seemed to be, to be a stuttering shell of a person thanks to Akel. What ever happened to a simple life with cheerful one-night-stands?

Fat chance that Akel would ever look at those the same way again.

"It's fine," he continued in the most comforting voice he could muster up at that moment - succeeding quite well, his tone coming out as warm and pleasant. "Shit happens, it gets better. Right?" He even attempted to hitch on a smile - the movement of his lips able to be felt curving upwards as they pressed very gently against the other's cheek slightly.

[ooc- REPLIED >:3]

[pj]

His eyes where still hot with tears, Jeramy should have just kept his mouth shut. It would have made Akel happier, even though he would have felt ripped apart inside it would have been better than making Akel feel like shit which Jeramy was sure thats how he was feeling. Though it surprised him to feel boy's warmth beside him, he flashed back to the previous night when he felt that same energy beneath him but this time it was different.

"I-I'm so sorry, I sh-should have just kept m-my mouth shut." He stammered, it was his own fault for making himself feel like this. He wanted win there petty little argument, he shoved Akel out of the door. Him, him and him alone.

Jeramy listened Akel continued to talk, his tone sounded warmed than it had done previously. His mouth was poised open ready to speak more apologize before he felt a buzz from the light kiss the other boy placed on his cheek, Jeramy let one side of his mouth curl upwards as he shifted a little closer to the boy on arm hugging him. Things didn't feel all that bad right now or, maybe that was just the fairy tale in his head acting up.

"My l-life's been a constant shit happens," He tried to add a little amusement in his tone but it sounded sad to him, with his free hand Jeramy wiped away a lone tear. They must have looked strange to anyone looking down at them huddled under the shadow of the large oak tree, "I n-n-never wanted to m-make you feel like crap." He felt like he should say more but he didn't know what he could say, "P-please d-don't tell anyone..." Is all the fell from it mouth, he was ashamed Jeramy couldn't lie to himself about that and if he could change he would...but thats all he knew. It was lame excuse though it was sad but true.